Making mentorship work (for the mentee and mentor)

Having a great mentor is often cited as a factor for success by many individuals who have had wonderful careers. It can indeed be a game-changer for your academic, professional and personal growth. That said, mentoring can be a tricky thing to navigate as a mentee who is new to the concept. Once you’ve overcome that initial hurdle of finding your mentor – then what?! 

In this short blog, we share our top five practical tips on getting the most out of the mentor-mentee relationship.  

As a mentee, this relationship is yours to manage. Granted, that can seem daunting -particularly as is often the case when your mentor is senior to you in experience, or someone you look up to. You will need to be proactive and take the lead in organising meetings, setting discussion topics and - at times - chasing down your mentor.  

Remember that your mentor will fully expect you to be the driver so don’t shy away from this role. If you are clear from the outset with what you want from your mentor and they agree to those terms, then they will be more than happy for you to lead (bringing us nicely to Top Tip #2).  

Set expectations with your mentor as soon as possible - definitely before the first meeting. That way, they can be clear what they are committing to, and this will give you increased confidence in managing the relationship. We suggest you should agree the following: 

• What you are looking to achieve through the mentoring process 

It is important to be on the same page with why you are asking this person to do be your mentor. Share specific career or personal development goals and set up ways of monitoring progress which you can discuss during your meetings. For example, if you are looking to build your professional network in a particular field, establish a way of recording new connections, meetings and outcomes from those meetings.  

Sharing goals will prepare your mentor and help them understand what you see as success through the mentoring process. Maybe they might even decide they are not the best person to support you, but direct you to someone better placed to achieve your goals? 

• How regularly you want to meet, and whether online/in-person 

This is up to you, based on what are looking to achieve, but do be realistic and respective of your mentor’s time. Once per quarter is a standard meeting frequency. You could always ask your mentor if they would be open to you contacting them between meetings if something crops up which you would like to discuss. 

You also need to consider what you can realistically commit to, as it doesn’t look professional to cancel meetings with your mentor or turn up underprepared. So, think about this one carefully.  

• How long you envisage the mentoring relationship will last 

Maybe it might feel a little uncomfortable to put a timeframe on the relationship, but this is more than a ‘get-out’ clause if you and your mentor don’t gel! Our career goals and development areas change frequently and therefore it makes perfect sense that the support we need to achieve those goals will change too. It is all about how you frame it. For example, you could say ‘this year, I’m looking to learn more about careers in the not-for-profit sector and so I was wondering if you would be my mentor for the next 12 months?’ Clear, considered, polite.

Mentors are there to support your growth, which sometimes involves constructive feedback or questions that may feel challenging or uncomfortable. For example, you might tell your mentor you’ve tried everything to reach a goal, but through their questioning, it dawns on you there are still opportunities you haven’t explored. Be prepared for these moments and view them as chances to develop. Listen actively, ask for clarification when needed, and treat feedback as a tool for improvement—not as a judgment. To prepare, you could reflect on how well you receive feedback and consider if you have opportunity to improve on this.  

To make each meeting as useful as possible, share discussion points or an agenda in advance. A good mentor will reflect on this and come prepared to support you with what you would like to discuss.  

It is also a good idea to end each meeting with an action item and open the next meeting discussing how you worked on that action item. This keeps you focused on progress and stops your mentoring meetings from morphing into a general catch-up.  

Final tip is to approach mentoring with an open mind and a willingness to learn. One of the greatest benefits is gaining insight from someone who sees things from a different perspective. Their advice can help you look at challenges from new angles and uncover opportunities you might have missed. Embrace their guidance, especially when it pushes you out of your comfort zone - who knows where it may take you? 

If you don’t currently have a mentor and need some advice on finding one, you can have a look at what mentoring initiatives are available at your HEI, company or through your professional body. For more information on the differences between coaching and mentoring, take a look at Prosper’s Portal: Career coaching - Prosper.